Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is still a fantastic fucking game, but nobody cares about that because us transgenders have hijacked the Nintendo agenda and have turned Mario woke. Gosh, can you imagine being so terminally online that shit like this doesn't slip past your radar? How little joy do you have in your life knowing that localization can just sully your mood?
Okay okay, so there are probably a few of you wondering what the fuck is going on. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door had a remake that just came out on the Switch. It's good. Like, really fucking good. It's a remake of a game from 2004 on the Nintendo Gamecube. It's often heralded as one of Mario's finest adventures, and for plenty of good reasons. It oozes charm, it's funny, it's kooky, the battle system is riveting and open-ended, there's a ton of exploration in the surreal wacky world to be had, and barring a few hiccups it's a game without many flaws. I could yack about The Origami King being an unsung hero of the franchise that deserves its recognition among the greats like the OG Paper Mario and TTYD, but that's not we're here for. We're here for drama, and as a trans person myself, wondering just how the Hell we ended up here.
Nintendo has never been a studio with a political agenda, at least not overtly. There are definitely games that dabble in politics, like Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance and delving into racism and the war machine, but Mario's managed to remain pretty unaccounted for in terms of having any overt politics in them. It has plenty of jokes, and while some jokes can be taken a bit seriously but overall Mario games don't really have much to say barring the occasional “Wahoo!” and “Man, Bowser is fucking things up again, let's go get that guy”. Hell, Bowser doesn't even fuck shit up in all the games he's featured in, TTYD included. He's just some dude who realizes Peach has been captured and he's pissed off nobody told him about it.
TTYD doesn't dabble in politics, either. It has some commentary on living in an impoverished city where one side is run-down and decrepit while the other side is habitable because it's ran by the mafia. Even the crows in Twilight Town discuss fossil fuel dependency and investment in clean energy, but nope, not political! But it's nothing “charged” and it's again mostly played for laughs. It's mostly a game filled with wacky adventures and Mario meeting new friends who for some reason or another insist on helping Mario in his journey to uncover the Crystal Stars and to open the titular Thousand-Year Door. A lot of characters join Mario for various reasons. Some do it for the greater good of helping him save the world, but others join for their own motivations: Koops is a coward with severe anxiety and wants to get revenge for his dad being eaten by Hooktail. Goombella is an archaeology student who wants to learn more about the Thousand-Year Door and the mysteries behind it. Admiral Bobbery has his broken heart healed by Mario and vows to help him set sail for treasure. Some are just born and want to fuck shit up in wrestling matches like your baby Yoshi.
So we're introduced to Vivian in the second chapter. The Shadow Sirens are antagonists, but Vivian just sorta sticks out. Her sister Beldam bullies the living Hell out of her, insults her, berates her, blames her for whenever a plan goes tits up or when they forget something. Marilyn just grunts and is a mound of muscle. Vivian hardly seems evil but mostly is along for the ride. She always seems to be a bit dour from the hands of the abuse from her sisters. After their failure in the Boggly Woods, they end up in Twilight Town with another plan to fuck Mario up. But joke's on them; Mario gets his identity and name stolen, alongside all his friends. While he's a mere shadow of himself, he helps Vivian, who in return appreciates the nameless stranger for his unabashed kindness and decides to help him back. The two end up at a climactic fight at the Creepy Steeple, where she realizes Mario was the one helping him and was one of the only people to befriend and care about her, so she sticks around to join Mario and realizes her siblings are assholes. End character arc. It's pretty straightforward and there's no left-turns or anything regarding the plot.
So what has the internet chuds in such a tussle? Well, in the original Japanese translation, she was seen as “a boy who thinks he's a girl” and it's implied that the bullying from her sisters is because she's crossdressing. She's a femboy, basically. A “trap”. This entire story arc was localized out in the original game in lieu of just her being bullied for no apparent reason other than, I guess Beldam's a bitch? Uhdunknow. But you didn't hear the chuds complaining about that censorship because it's shit they agreed with. Now in the remake, the original localization is more faithful and it's one again pointed out that Vivian wants to be their sister, not their brother. I don't know what that means, it could mean anything.
But seeing how her whole character arc is about meeting people who accept her for who she is, it's kind of touching. It just has the slight caveat that she was a boy and wants to be seen as a girl now. This is touched on here.
And... that's really it. ...Wait, that's really it? This is what has these people pissed off? This is a big nothing-burger. Like don't get me wrong, it's cute and appreciated and we stan our trans ghost girl, but this is like a few lines of dialogue being referenced. There's nothing else. With how much this has been a controversy in the bowels of youtube and twitter, I was expecting it be a core tenet of her character arc, something a bit more overt. Mario doesn't stare at the camera and go “Trans Rights are Human Rights” or anything. A lot of Beldam's bullying isn't even overtly transphobic. Most people probably wouldn't care unless it was pointed out to them that Vivian is canonically trans. Like it's a cute nod and modernization of an old tacky joke about crossdressers where she still found acceptance for who she is. The original script wasn't progressive at all. It’s not like she had a nuanced informed view of her being trans or anything, it’s not like “PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSAND-YEAR DOOR isn’t answering questions about the trans agenda” or anything like that. This feels like the bare minimum. And it deserves kudos for that, but still.
I mean, we know what this is really about. This is about chuds being ambulance chasers for clout. They hate localizers for modernizing scripts or “censoring the original game's vision” and other garbage that mostly means they can't jack off to the main character in Stellar Blade. But when the game adheres more to the original script that accompanies the game's original vision, suddenly it's a problem again. It's a 20-year old problem. These assholes are disingenuous. They don't care about localization or censorship, they care about their problematic views being pushed against, their problematic tendencies being squelched. And by that, I mean most of these losers just want to hate LGBTQ people and jerk off to hot anime women.
I don't know why a poor trans ghost from a comedy video-game has to do with anything from this, but that's where we're at. But it's concrete, it's written there now. Mario is gay now. He likes that hot femboy ghost dick. Oh woe is us. But for real, trans representation is important. Vivian is a bit of a huge deal for how minor her story arc actually is in the game. Even if the game will never overtly go “Trans Rights are Human Rights”, we will take representation where we can get it. Trans representation is too deep of a problem for Mario and his goofy friends to tackle. But if a cute little story about finding acceptance is all we can get, then the getting's good. And imagine being a weirdo upset about that. People get mad online at any controversial opinion.
...The Origami King is the better game. ...Too much? What about the music, the music is surely bett—alright fine I'll shut the fuck up.
